** 5th book of 2021: First Principles of Parenting**

One constant of learning to be a parent is contradictory advice. People and authors are sufficiently convinced by limited or non-controlled sample sizes and new parents have no priors to push back on bad advice. This is why we have… science.

Eliot provides a scientific framework for the massive changes that happen to infants throughout the first 5 years, and while answers are not delivered in the sense of listicle or lifestyle advice, the underlying framework makes this the most compelling book on parenting I’ve read to date.

Babies are not ‘miniature adults’ and different structures of the brain begin development at different times, controlling behavior and milestones. For motor skills, babies grow from head to toe. For mental skills, they gradually work their way up the evolutionary ladder, starting with basic structures like the cerebellum, and only developing the prefrontal cortex after years. All babies hit cognitive milestones in ‘a defined order and roughly similar time’; a baby who cannot control her arms is never going to play Mozart, no matter how much parental input is involved.

Environment matters, and as a rule of thumb explains 50% of variability in cognitive functioning. In general, encouragement and assisted practice in achieving motor and cognitive milestones can improve the time at which these outcomes are reached, though casual outcomes are rarely established between earlier than normal milestones and later achievement.

If anything, ‘What’s Going On’ is a bit too credulous with studies. Some things are well documented, such as 3 drinks a day leading to a hit of 7 IQ points, but others such as breast feeding and IQ seem to be more nuanced in 2020 than when this book was written.

My biggest takeaway for parenting is nicely summarized as follows:

  • “Brain wiring needs stimulation. Synapses fail to develop without the steady variety of new and varied experiences. Growing the neural networks requires a steady stream of vigorous interaction with people, objects, and places. *